About mug in bad size, and hands folded on the back.

Sometime I don't what I feel. At the moment I'm convinced about my submission and in the moment I'm so nervious and my submission splash. How to reconcile everyday life with amok, in which is sumbimissive?

What to do to don't think about next gesture...? I cannot find any happy medium.

I'm at one remove from declaration of love and for-ever fidelity to man, who only by his look is able to wrap me around his finger and make me strip naked in the middle of the street for him and on all fours march next to his feet. But what'll happend when everyday life will sneak into this magic?
A coffe in bad size of mug, fresh bread which run out and chronic no time...? Where in this mess is place for humble, lowered eyes, hands folded on the back and speechless prayer for his harsh mood....?

I've never could find a happy medium - and I suppose that's why I always said that BDSM in relationship (like a marriage) is impossible. It's always too much of it or it's being outcasted.

So, why I've believed that it IS possible? Why I've let myself for that faith? I still don't know it, and I don't want to know.

But I want to find the happy medium. I want my submission to be clear for him - always. Even when I hate when he touch my nipple in bad moment, even when I terrible angry with thing which I don't want to do right now. Even then I'm ready to take the risk...

But for how long? Untill the next mug in bad size? Untill the next run between one sensless aim to another? Is it what we need? Is it what we cannot live without?